Oh yeah, oh yeah, the most exciting thing that happened today was that our quiet, demure, Biffy almost took out three sales guys at the Chi-town Harley-Davidson dealer in Chicago.
Dealer guy, "Where you girls headed for the night?"
Biffy"To La Porte Indiana"
Dealer guy, "You girls will never get all the way there." (it's maybe a 60 mile ride)
Biffy "EXCUSE ME????!!!" Snap, snap, goes her whole body as she flew directly toward dealer guy.
Dealer guy, "Too long a ride for girls, you will never make it,"
(Biffy....inside head.....did he really fucking say that??.....really)
Biffy to dealer guy, "We just rode 2200 miles in four days. We are from California. We know how to ride. We are women. And any day you want I will kick your fucking ass all over the road ....any day. And by the way bite my big, white,fluffy ass.....pig boy"
Dealer guy and his three buddies, "oooooo" gasp gasp...
Biffy and Super Sheri left the premises.... Without buying a thing......
Biffy handle that situation with such aplomb, clearly at one time she spent four years in finishing school. That knowing how to act properly crap sure does come in handy when you run across pig boys
Fortunately, the day was filled with much more pleasant experiences and no more pig boys.
In fact, in the morning the girls stopped at a Harley-Davidson in Iowa and were treated like queens, the queens that they are.... especially since they were in their biker drag.... like drag queens.... drag queens just wear a lot of makeupand fabulous frocks. Biker babe drag is a little different.....no make up and practicle frocks versus fabulous frocks. Super Sheri was in the most sophisticated, sleek, all-black biker babe drag frock. And Biffy well she's a little on the quirky side, but she certainly did make a fashion statement. She was dressed in gray, orange, suit with a neon green vest ,black steel toed boots and the loveliest pink hat in the whole world! Yep, she was a stunner today. Next photo of her will certainly be on the cover of Vogue!
Enough about fashion, back to the biker story. As the biker babes walked in to the dealership in Iowa, the male sales guys could not have been nicer. One guy grabbed Biffy and personally made her a very wonderful cup of hazelnut flavored coffee! Another guy, smiling away, grabbed Sheri and brought her into the basement of the dealership. And what to Sheris wondering eyes did she see in that basement, the brand-new just-released 2014 Harley-Davidson bikes!! She got a personal tour of the new bikes. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, could they have not met sherri and biffys individual needs better? The biker babes love The iowa dealerships!
Also, soon after the tragic incident at the Chicago dealership, the BBs went to a dealership in Mauston Indiana. Biffy walked in and was greeted by the most charming, baldheaded, biggest smiling sales guy in the world. He asked if he could help her, and she responded "restroom now! " He kindly grabbed her elbow and gently escorted her directly to the women's bathroom. Could a man be more gentlemanly- gallant ? When Sheri went into the dealership, she met the nicest woman. The woman helped her find interesting things. And even gave the biker babes 20% off after hearing the story of the tragic Chicago incident.
The actual ride, was pretty uneventful. With the exception of quite a bit of rain and the fact thmain speed limit dropped from 75 to 65mph.... hence, no 600miles today. As a result the girls were all geared up with multiple layers - long johns, regular riding gear coverup up by rain gear. Now, this would not be anything of particular note, with the exception of, yet one more incident!
As the babes were riding along it was cold, rainy and Biffy had, had an unusual amount of coffee. And what happens when it's cold and rainy and someone's had an unusual amount of coffee? They must take care of bodily functions. So at one desperate point, Biffy called to Sheri and said she needs to stop at the next exit to take care of such matters. Well, Sheri suggested they wait for seven more miles for an exit that had a truck stop at it. Yeah, that's a good idea wait seven more miles. Let's see, it's cold, it's rainy, and biffy has had an unusual amount of coffee and is now waiting seven more miles......
The biker babes arrived at the truck stop, biffy leaps off her bike - complete with four layers of gear and huge steel toed boots on. pretty sure she could have easily been mistaken for a giant weebel - they wobble but don't fall down... So Biffy, the weebel, trys to run to the bathroom.... She probably would've gotten there quicker if somebody put her on her side and just rolled her to the bathroom. Eventually, she did get to the bathroom. Relief!! Well almost… Now the weebel had to unlayer herself. She got through a couple layers and was ready to drop drawers and all of a sudden she realized that damn rainsuit had suspenders to it. That meant she was not Able to drop drawers until she undid all four layers of her top and drop those god damn suspenders!! Lesson learned, yes, don't wait 7 miles … If you got to go you got to go 7 miles is a bad idea and suspenders are mighty unnessary.... Biffy instead will now invest in a very important new piece of biker gear.... A pair of depends!!!!
And one more cool thing that the bbs got to experience today was in La Claire Iowa. First, it was their first look at the Mississippi River! They made it all the way to the Mississippi River woowzer, woowzer !!
In La Claire, the babes also got to see the place where the TV show American Pickers is filmed. Here they saw the best Roadside oddities ever!! Check out Philip, the lion, Laurel and Hardy, and all the restored bikes!! Yeah it was pretty cool.
That's all for today what will be adventures you tomorrow!
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